I Took Five Different MBTI Personality Tests and the Results are Surprising

I wholeheartedly believe in the MBTI. I've heard the criticism, but I just don't buy into it. I've seen so many people take this test and they're all incredibly surprised by how accurate the results are- even down to the most detailed things, like the way they plan a trip and how they behaved in school. The only criticism I've heard for the MBTI is that it's easy to answer in the way you want to be perceived instead of the way you actually are (which would obviously throw off your results)...and that people can't be defined by 4 little letters.

 

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8 Things I've Learned in My First 8 Months of Marriage

1| I need to chill out. Being an only child for the first 11 years of my life (and therefore not having to share with siblings or vie for my parents attention for a long while) may have contributed to me not being the most flexible person. I'm a little stubborn and definitely not someone you'd consider "go with the flow". I just like things a certain way, which I don't think is always a bad thing (it makes it easier to choose a place to eat when my husbands not sure where we should go...because I know what I want), but it can also cause some issues in marriage and life in general.

Marriage has been a HUGE wake up call for me because I've had to realize that I can't always get my way and that I need to take my husbands wants and needs into consideration. I've also realized that it's not the end of the world if something isn't done exactly the way I want it done or if plans are changed unexpectedly because my husband needs something. Basically, I've had to realize that life isn't all about me! I'm sure I'll get an even larger wake up call when I have kids. Oh, boy!

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The Ultimate Last Minute Gift Guide for Stressed Out Women

We've all been there...hurriedly purchasing last minute gifts a couple weeks (or even a week or few days) before Christmas. A couple years ago I had an especially busy season and had to buy most of my gifts on CHRISTMAS EVE. So, don't feel bad if you're a little behind!

Amazon Prime has been my saving grace this season (and always) because I've been able to pick out amazing gifts for people and send them on their way, knowing they'll be delivered within 2 days. It also decreases my stress knowing that I can order gifts last-minute for those hard-to-shop for people. You know the ones I'm talking about!

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12 Things the INFJ Can Do to Heal Their Broken Heart

Because INFJ's are highly sensitive, future-oriented, empathetic, and stimulated easily, breakups can be a bit of a train wreck for them! You can read all about why exactly that is in one of my recent posts, 5 Reasons the INFJ Has Such a Hard Time Coping With Heartbreak

That's why I decided to write up a post on exactly what the INFJ can do to start healing their broken heart. The reason I want to help you is because I’ve been there! Oh boy, have I been there. I’ve had several breakups, each so different from the rest. I’ve had some that were painful, but that I was able to move on from fairly quickly. I’ve had others that were so excruciatingly miserable that I literally thought I might die. I’m not exaggerating. I even distinctly remember Googling, “Can you die from a broken heart?” 

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5 Odd & Contradictory Things You Do If You're an INFJ

You hardly ever get bored (if ever at all) because you're always thinking about life, the future, why certain things happen the way they do, what you can do to help others, what you wish you would have done differently, how you want to improve your life, etc. You have big goals and dreams that you want to accomplish and sometimes it just feels like there's not enough time for all of the thoughts and goals you have. You like creating your own structure, giving yourself deadlines and planning out your day. You're very self-motivated but sometimes get caught up in the "thinking" more than "doing," because your thinking often feels productive to you. Sometimes you need to force yourself to "do" so that you don't get stuck not taking action to make your dreams become a reality.

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8 Ways Creative Introverts Can Earn Money from Home

As mentioned in my last post, 3 Reasons Entrepreneurship is a Great Option for INFJ's, I'm fulfilling my promise to you to share some fantastic ways that creative introverts can earn an income!

As a creative introvert, the words, "work from home," sound like music to me ears! But they also sound like an impossible unachievable goal. I mean, who really gets lucky enough to earn a living from home- especially doing something they actually love doing? Something creative...something they're passionate about. It just doesn't sound realistic, right?

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3 Reasons Entrepreneurship is a Great Option for INFJ's

If you're an INFJ, you've most likely found it extremely confusing to choose one career path. It can feel limiting when there are so many different things you're passionate about and so many different ways that you want to help people!

In fact, if you're in the same boat I was in- where you want to do several different things that are meaningful to you, than don't worry! Luckily, there's a great option for you creative, independent, intuitive introverts out there who want to "do your own thing," and do it "in your own way."

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40 Things Every INFJ Wants You To Know

INFJ's are one of the most misunderstood personality types. Everything about them is mysterious, unconventional, and difficult for the other types to understand. They think differently, do things differently, and live differently.

If you're trying to understand an INFJ, than good luck! They don't even understand themselves half the time.

Though fully understanding them may be an impossible task, there are quite a few things that you can try to grasp about their personality that will help you connect with and understand them better.

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5 Reasons the INFJ Has Such a Hard Time Coping With Heartbreak (And What They Can Do About It)

While most people (well, people who aren't heartless) tend to have a difficult time moving on after a breakup, the INFJ often takes this sentiment to a whole new level. Their family members and friends may even start to worry terribly about the wellbeing of an INFJ who doesn't seem to be making progress towards healing.

I've compiled a list of reasons why the INFJ has a slow healing process, along with tips on how they can try to cope with heartbreak in a healthy way. If you're an INFJ or you're trying to help an INFJ out, I hope these lists will help you or them with the difficult process of healing from a painful heartbreak.

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How To Maintain a Healthy Lasting Relationship With an INFJ

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Generally, INFJ's make warm and compassionate partners who bring excitement and joy to a relationship. My husband has often told me that "there's never a dull moment" with me. We're passionate, loving, caring, and deep...but that doesn't mean we don't come with some...ahem, complications. But really, who in this world doesn't come with complications (unless they're a boring pushover...)?

Since INFJ's (and humans in general) aren't given personality manuals to give to their partners when they start dating, I thought I'd write my own little version of what the "INFJ Relationship Manual" would look like if there was such a thing. So, here are some of my tips for INFJ's partners (or for those wanting a relationship with an INFJ) on how to maintain a healthy lasting relationship with your crazy exciting (& totally complicated) partner.

Disclaimer: While I do think this whole Myers Briggs thing is AMAZING and definitely the most accurate personality test out there, I do realize that people can't be completely defined by a personality test. We're all unique. Not all INFJ's feel the same, act the same, or like the same things. So, while I do like writing about my experiences as an INFJ, I know that not all INFJ's will relate to everything I say (I mean, duh!)...but hopefully some of the things I experience will bring you comfort in knowing that you're not alone!

10 Ways To Maintain a Healthy Relationship With an INFJ

1. Respect our need for space:

Though we may want you and love you with all of our hearts, we often feel as though we don't need anybody. There's a difference between want and need. Because we're so independent, someone acting dependent on us for their happiness is overwhelming. We want to help you and contribute to your happiness but we also want you to be able to help yourself and make yourself happy. Also, sometimes we just need space.

The "I" in "INFJ" stands for "Introvert" and introverts need time alone to recharge. We become overstimulated easily and will need to break away for a bit of uninterrupted alone time from time to time. Please don't take this personally. We still enjoy being around you and care about you a lot! Sometimes we just need space in order to stay sane and happy. 

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2. Although we're quite independent and tough most of the time, we're also incredibly sensitive: 

We will do everything we can to avoid criticism, but when we are criticized we are so sensitive that we may lash out in anger and become defensive. This is something we need to work on....seriously! But it would also be wise for you to try to correct us in a kind and sensitive manner. A nice compliment or some simple reassurance of your adoration for us before your critique or correction is the best way to approach saying something that would otherwise come off as hurtful. This should be a general rule for going about correcting anyone, but it's especially crucial to implement this approach when correcting the sensitive INFJ. 

3. We want you to love us for who we are and to respect our desire to "be true to ourselves": 

There's nothing worse to us than someone trying to change us or shape us into the version of us that they want us to be. We value staying true to ourselves and we want you to love us for who we are and appreciate our unique quirks, passions, and values. If you don't, well then...adios! 

P.S- This doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to improve ourselves and that we won't consider advice and constructive critisism (when done kindly), but good luck trying to change our core values, beliefs, and passions! 

4. We don't want you to change our core values but you may need to lovingly talk sense into us when we are being hypocritical/illogical/too stubborn: 

We can get preeeetttty worked up about things. We feel so passionately about certain ideas and viewpoints that we can reach high levels of hypocrisy, unreasonableness, and stubbornness in order to defend that thing that we feel passionately about. While we have an impeccable ability to understand people's different perspectives and views, it's more difficult for us to remain indifferent and unbiased when we feel as though someone we're close to is attacking our core values, beliefs, or passions.

If we've become hypocritical and defensive, please lovingly (and calmly, gently, respectfully) help us see your side of things. If you do this without attacking us, we are much more likely to actually listen. Help us come to the realization that people (even the ones we're closest to) can think and feel different ways and that's okay!

5. Initiate or at least continue in-depth conversations with us from time to time: 

Talking about some crazy thing that happened at work and goofing around with us are conversations we love and cherish, but occasionally we want to have in-depth conversations about politics, religion, psychology, etc. If we feel like you change the subject whenever we bring these topics up because you're not interested, we may retreat more into ourselves because we'll feel as though no one understands us. We like being alone, but we also cherish in-depth conversations with the people we care about (or...even strangers). 

6. Please please please be willing to be adventurous with us:

We absolutely love (planned) spontaneity. I know, planned spontaneity is completely contradictory, just like the rest of our personality traits. We long to travel the world, try new things, and delve into our sometimes "impossible seeming" dreams. Support us in our desires to live our lives to the fullest. If you can't join us in the fun, than respect that we will be adventurous with or without you! 

7. Realize that we want more from life than going to school, getting married, and having kids: 

These things are great and might be part of our plans but we may also have some less traditional dreams. We often have a "save the world" mentality. We want to do more than help our spouse and kids (even though we believe that's great too!). We want to "be the change that we wish to see in the world." We want to do something that will help the lives of many because we know there are so many people suffering all over the world. We aren't satisfied with a traditional life. We want to be involved in adventure and change!

8. Don't try to manipulate us:

We see right through any type of manipulation. We see through dishonesty and can tell when you're being insincere. We're very insightful and see right through sales tactics, exaggerations, manipulation, and guilt trips, and we won't put up with any of it. We'll call you out right away!

9. Please be a decent human being:

I mean, if you're dating us, hopefully you are one (but we're often drawn to narcissists- that's a whole other issue). We obviously can't change you, but we really hope you look past your own little comfortable world of privilege and help people who are really in need. We hope you tone down the road rage (because who knows if the person who almost just crashed into you was about to have a panic attack or one of their family members just died!? You never know, so be kind!) We hope you care about people's feelings and are passionate about helping people and making the world a better place. 

10. Try to help yourself some of the time: 

We do love helping people, but when we're helping someone close to us, it's a whole new ball game. We're very sensitive to emotions so we're prone to take on whatever emotions you're feeling. The closer you are to us, the more your emotions will transfer to us. It can even get to the point where we feel equally as stressed or sad as you do. This is okay sometimes. We want to help you! We're partners after all, but when we're trying to maintain our own positivity, other people's moodiness can really drag us down. We want to be there for you but it would be helpful if you also tried to help yourself some of the time because of our empathetic nature and tendency to become overwhelmed easily.

11. Respect our idea of fun but remind us to stay balanced:

Our idea of fun is sometimes what other people would consider "work," such as spending hours on a project, writing an article or essay "just for the fun of it," or vigorously following through with our goals. We can become completely consumed with our passions, which is just one reason we would be perfectly (more than) fine with being left alone for hours (or even days) at a time. Respect our idea of "fun," as our ambitious nature can and should be seen as a great quality, but also remind us to stay balanced. Remind us that there are other important parts of life (like eating, sleeping, and spending time with you.) Sometimes we need that gentle reminder. 

12. Let us dream:

We're idealistic dreamers with our heads in the clouds and our goals set on what might seem like the impossible. Let us dream...because we actually do have what it takes to accomplish our goals if we're given the chance to. Don't try to squash our dreams or "talk sense into us". If we're zealous about owning a bakery or becoming the mayor of our city someday, than let us dream, because we may be some of the few that are actually determined enough to achieve the craziest ideas. At the same time, help us reign in our idealism when it comes to our relationship.

We often have an ideal of what our lives should look like and while in many ways we're logical, we can be awfully unrealistic about how perfect our lives should be. When this gets in the way of us having a healthy relationship, help us recognize that we're having unrealistic expectations for our relationship and that it's okay for things to go wrong sometimes. We may need a little reminder that we can still be happy even if our lives aren't perfect.


If you enjoyed this post, please pin the following image onto your Pinterest so others can read it. Thank you so much!

 
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51 Memes & Quotes That Perfectly Describe the INFJ

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INFJ's, otherwise known as "Advocates," by MBTI terms, are a rare and complicated species. They're easily misunderstood because of their contradictory characteristics and their mysterious and private nature. I've assembled a list of carefully chosen memes that I believe describe what it's like to be an INFJ.

Of course, everybody is unique and different but I'm grateful to know that at least less than 1% (according to 16personalities.com) of the population shares some of the different and unique personality traits and feelings that I experience. It makes feel a little less alone, even though I don't mind being alone anyways.

1. Advocates yearn for depth, authenticity, and sincerity in their relationships.

They seek out people who "share their passions, interests, and idealogies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful."

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2. They have a knack for knowing when they're being manipulated.

They can spot dishonest and disingenuous motives easily. They see past sales tactics and will not put up with being manipulated and lied to.  

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3. They are often seen as private and mysterious.

They don't open us easily. They usually have a breaking moment when they finally allow themselves to be seen fully by someone else- with all of their quirkiness, deep thoughts, and goofiness. This only happens once they know they can trust someone and are comfortable enough around someone to do so

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4. Advocates are extremely passionate about their principles and values.

Someone is "likely to receive an alarmingly strong response," if they challenge or criticize the INFJ or their beliefs. Although introverted a lot of the time, Advocates will speak up for what they're passionate about. When it comes to what they feel strongly about, they don't mind rocking the boat a little.

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5. Advocates are passionate about thinking for themselves.

They won't conform to any expectations or social norms if they go against their core values. Their main goal as parents is to help their children become strong and independent adults who know how to think, not what to think.

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6. They need time alone.

Though they're often mistaken as extroverts, especially by those they're closest to, they are, in fact, introverts. They love spending time with their loves ones, but it's important for others to remember that Advocates need their time alone to recharge. Don't take it personally if they suddenly withdraw or disappear for long amounts of time. They do not mean to hurt anyone or to burn any bridges but sometimes they end up doing so because of how withdrawn and introverted they can become.

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7. While Advocates love sticking to routines, sometimes they feel a strong desire to escape and get away from it all.

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8. They are very sensitive and will do everything they can to avoid criticism.

They often come off as people pleasers, especially to people they aren't yet comfortable with and who they're afraid of speaking their minds to. 

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9. Advocates often feel that they are most themselves and most alive when they're by themselves or with people who they are very close to.

They enjoy being alone and hardly ever get bored. When they do form a romantic relationship their relationships have a lot of depth and the connection is strong but sometimes they need their space to do things alone or to feel as though they're "alone" while still in the same room as their significant other.

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10.  They are often misunderstood.

Their characteristics can be very contradictory. They're very sweet, yet very tough. They're extremely serious, but they're also super silly. They're very emotional and very logical. All at the same time! It can be very confusing to understand, even for the INFJ, but they eventually come to terms with their "oddness."

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11. They are the masters of overthinking.

About everything.

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12. Advocates feel a strong sense of love for their loved ones and for the less fortunate, the hurting, the lonely, etc.

The amount of feelings they have can sometimes feel unbearable. They often place high value on defending the helpless, fighting for equality, and striving to "change the world," as much as they can.

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13. Most advocates will do everything they can to avoid talking on the phone. 

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14. Advocates like planned spontaneity.

Completely contradictory yet it makes perfect sense to the INFJ. They want to travel the world and go on exciting adventures but they appreciate at least a little structure here and there.

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15. Advocates can become easily overstimulated by sensory details. If too much is going on at once, it can cause the INFJ to shut down. 

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16. They are very are idealistic.

They often expect perfection from themselves, from others, and from their surroundings. They want life to be perfect and can feel disappointed when things or people aren't living up to their expectations. INFJ's need to remember to be less critical of others, to stop beating themselves up, and to try to live more in the present. 

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